May 2009
5 posts
Why do grown ass men always have little kid...
No but seriously, why is that? Are they bad with their hands or is it an aesthetic perception thing? And what does it mean that I write like one?
Awkward
Ideas for Awkward Ambushes:
1) Voicemail carriers should inform callers when the party they call hits ignore and sends them straight to voicemail. “This party has chosen to ignore your call. Please leave a message. … WUTUp wutup my lovahs - I’m away from my phone, but I will give you a call right back if you leave it at the beeeeeeep.”
2) Requesting relationship status...
I is a perfectionist. Nom nom nom.
Who would ever want to love a perfect person? What risk is there in that? What could you possibly ever provide them? Wutup world, brilliant lack of perfection seeks lover from past life, with unfinished business.
Swiss Miss
Having worked in various real estate, publishing, capital management and other corporate incaranations around New York, I have discovered a standard asset at each office: Swiss Miss Hot Chocolate with Marshmallows. Never have I seen the stand alone hot chocolate sans mallow. Corporate America pro: endless freeze dried marshmallows. Corporate America con: Corporate America. I mean, that’s...
October 2008
7 posts
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computer screens don't make for good friends
Wondering if the very essence of love is not that it is permanent, but that it is fragile. It is forever in each second that you let it go and feel it flowing back to you at once.
Bullet points
Secrets among bff - I popped a pimple on my ass today. Man I am a laday.
um - got diagnosed with a pimple in the betweener during a herpes panic. NTA!
Nta?
never tell anyone
ESCAPE TO THE BATHROOM PART !
Dear friends,
I write to you from the bathroom of a French investment bank in Manhattan. I fear being discovered by the intrusive coworker beasts and this is the only means of concealment I have found as yet. Also, this bathroom features auto-flushers that go off at the slightest movement. I must be quiet and still.
I fear I will not survive this place. That the zombie-faced analysts shall...
ESCAPE TO THE BATHROOM PART @
Dear friends,
I am recently returned from a venture across the New York jungle: it was necessary that I make the trek to find provisions. The sunshine was blinding after the seclusion. I have regained some of my strength thanks to a supply of nuts, berries, leaves, and some light sesame ginger dressing. I am now safely returned to my restroom stall hideout. I suspect that the toilet
paper and...
ESCAPE TO THE BATHROOM PART #
Dear friends,
Though my planned escape is rapidly approaching, it feels miles away. Today I discovered a letter written by someone who appears to have inhabited this wretched place before me. It reads:
“I am grateful for all the money I do receive. I am grateful for being able to pay my bills and rent and for food. I am grateful for being able to spend time with friends. I am grateful for...